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| A safe space |
Recently, there has been a rise in suicide cases in Malawi and across the world. According to the Malawi Ministry of Health and the Malawi Police Service, hundreds of cases are reported nationwide each year. This is not only happening in Malawi; in the United States and globally, suicide rates continue to increase every year among adults as well as the youth. This is largely due to mental and emotional health issues that have become rampant across the globe. Sometimes, one wonders what we can do to help people from killing themselves. It looks like suicide is slowly being accepted as an alternative solution to our mental pressure, as long as we do not find relief from it. It is a big problem that the world is facing.
However, when I read about the mental health issues that lead to suicide attempts—even though I am not a certified health practitioner, due to the mental health training in which I have participated—it is recommended that people struggling with mental and emotional health issues should be given a safe space to open up about their struggles as the first step to their treatment. The big question is: who is responsible for providing this safe space to those who are struggling mentally and emotionally? Is it the family members, the country, the community, the hospitals, or medical practitioners? What about the Church? Does it have a role to play in this? What about God—where is He in all this? Does that mean He is okay with people committing suicide at this fast rate?
As Christians, we all have a role to play in providing a safe space for those who are mentally and emotionally struggling with internal and external pressures. We can look to God as a model in how He dealt with situations of people who were struggling with suicidal thoughts or mental and emotional health in general. Someone may be wondering if this is in the Bible. The answer is yes; the Bible records these situations many times and shows how God dealt with them.
For instance, let us look at Jonah. God sent him to preach repentance to the city of Nineveh, but Jonah wanted justice or simply revenge. He tried to change his course away from the route to Nineveh, but God miraculously made sure that Jonah arrived in Nineveh. When Jonah preached in Nineveh, he did not expect the city to turn back to God in repentance; he still wanted to see judgment on the city. When he learned that God forgave the city, Jonah went into a mental and emotional breakdown. Suicidal thoughts came into his mind, and he told God to kill him. He didn't just want to kill himself; he wanted God to kill him. Death was the only solution for him. To him, it was either God should punish Nineveh, or he should die.
“Now, O Lord, take away my life, for it is better for me to die than to live.” (Jonah 4:3)
What are we saying? Some of the people who are struggling with suicidal thoughts are in those situations because they feel they are not getting whatever they want or desire most in their lives. They have tried, put in a lot of effort and commitment, they have obeyed, and they still cannot get it. Things are not always going their way, and eventually, they choose death over grace, emotional distress over trying, and giving up instead of clarity. They tie meaning to their anticipated success.
In addition, Jonah believed in God so much that he was 100 percent sure that God would come through in judgment over the city of Nineveh. And when God chose grace over judgment, Jonah chose death. Some of the people who have suicidal thoughts are struggling with unforgiveness issues; for some, it is faith in God that is leading them into depression. They expect God to come through in a certain way for them, and when He does not (or does differently), the results are suicidal thoughts. Because God is sovereign, abounding in love, slow to anger, and plenteous in mercy, a lack of understanding of the nature of God strips them of their identity in Christ and makes them feel like they are isolated from the God who promises to always be there for them.
However, when Jonah communicated to God about these suicidal thoughts and depression, God tried to tell him who He really is. He tried to demonstrate clarity about His identity and His sovereignty over all creation. He tried to make Jonah understand that he had no reason to feel that way. He had no reason to hate himself to death; the people in the city of Nineveh were also God's people and creation. He tried to paint a picture of grace and mercy for him—that instead of bitterness, he should have rejoiced with God due to His grace and mercies for all human beings living in it.
Sometimes as Christians, we need to tell people or ourselves that it is okay for God to show up differently in the battles of our lives. Not all the time does God have to show up in our battles as a mighty man of valor; sometimes it is okay for God to show up as a Lamb in your battles. Part of God's judgment over people is giving them the chance to repent through His grace and mercy. We need to help people by giving them clarity and helping them understand who God is through His written Word, the Bible. Sometimes share testimony with them so that they can start seeking the God whom you have experienced and go on from there. Offer prayers too and allow the Holy Spirit to work on their thoughts toward healing through Christ.
The Bible says:“But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed.” (Isaiah 53:5)
Behind every suicide is a spirit. And behind every suicide lie many failed suicide attempts. So, we must seek the Lord when helping us through the process of that healing.
The last thing I want to point out about Jonah is that God did not judge Jonah for having suicidal thoughts. He came and provided a safe space to talk to Jonah. He gently took Jonah throughout the process of confession with love and without judgment. So, as we are dealing with each other concerning suicide, we need to treat each other with grace.
“Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.” (Galatians 6:1)
We, too, may be struggling with some things in our lives. So, seeing those with suicidal thoughts as being like ourselves helps the person who is struggling. Show love and genuine interest in them, just like God did to Jonah. You also need to know yourself and your own capacity to handle such cases. When it becomes too much, refer them to other people for further assistance instead of acting like a know-it-all. It does more harm to the victim than good.
However, Christians must also be careful when dealing with people with suicidal thoughts. Remember, behind every suicidal thought is a spirit, and spirits are contagious. All they need is a vessel in the form of a body to move from one person to another. Jesus described this best when He said:
“When an impure spirit comes out of a person, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. Then it says, ‘I will return to the house I left.’ When it arrives, it finds the house swept clean and put in order. Then it goes and takes seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that person is worse than the first.” (Luke 11:24-26)
Therefore, we must approach suicide situations with care through prayer and with the help of the Holy Spirit and God's Word, which brings light into all situations. The other thing is that Christians must observe or maintain their boundaries throughout the process of helping people with suicidal thoughts. I heard it once that misery loves company; avoid trauma bonding, which makes it easier for the transfer of spirits from one body to another.
I like how God dealt with Jonah. After that incidence, we never heard anything about Jonah again in the same capacity. The Bible only records God using Jonah in this specific way once. Looking at Jonah's reaction to Nineveh, it is easy to see why God did not use Jonah in the same way again. If the same situation had repeated itself, God would never send Jonah, knowing he would eventually kill himself if God did the opposite in His sovereign will.
I am not encouraging you to stop helping those struggling with suicidal thoughts, but I am only encouraging you to know your limits on what you can do, be aware of the spiritual aspect of it, and handle it with care. Observe your boundaries by knowing when and how to stop for the benefit of the victim. Sometimes your help may be the only thing that encourages the victim to commit suicide if not done with wisdom. It may bring the reverse effect into the life of the victim and even trigger more suicidal thoughts, inspiring a commitment to it.
May God give you wisdom when dealing with these situations in Christ Jesus.
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