There is a story in the Bible about Abraham and Lot that I feel, by the willing of the Holy Spirit, we can learn from today. May God open the eyes of your heart to it in Christ Jesus. Let’s get down to it..jpg)
Abraham and Loti
When God called Abraham to leave his house and go to where He was going to show him, He did not tell him about what or who to take. It was Abraham's idea to take Lot and other things with him on that journey. When God tells you to do something or go somewhere, we have to be careful how we go about that calling. Some people have been called into the business sector but end up forming wrong partnerships that eventually compromise their business calling or ideas. It has happened with ministers of the gospel too; some had a call from God and ended up making decisions and worldly alliances to enhance their ministry calling without God's direction, and the consequences have been burnout and missing out on God’s fellowship and purpose for their calling. I have seen it in marriage and relationships too, where wrong partners affect the purposes that God intended to fulfill for one individual, and sometimes both of them.
"Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?" (2 Corinthians 6:14)
Let us look at what happened between Lot and Abraham. When God wanted Abraham and Lot to go their separate ways so that Abraham could go ahead and fulfill his calling, He created a conflict between their servants. When it was brought to them that there was conflict, Abraham and Lot agreed that they should go their separate ways. Lot chose the land towards Sodom and Gomorrah because it was green and looked beautiful. Lot's choice was economically motivated. He knew he was going to make a lot of money in Sodom and Gomorrah.
"And Lot lifted up his eyes and saw that the Jordan Valley was well watered everywhere like the garden of the Lord... So Lot chose for himself all the Jordan Valley, and Lot journeyed east." (Genesis 13:10-11)
Abraham's decision, however, was purpose-driven. He made the decision to be in the place that was in line with the will of God. Sometimes, before you enter into any relationships or agreements with other people, you should discuss first what each individual's expectations are. You have to discuss each other's ambitions and goals before entering into any agreement. After discussing, you have to check if their expectations, ambitions, or calling are in line with what God has set you out to do or accomplish. If you don't, do not be surprised when you see conflicts arising along the way.
Not all conflicts are bad. God has a way of taking that which is bad and using it for our good. For instance, if it wasn't for the death of Stephen during the persecution of the early church, the gospel would not have been spread to other parts of the world the way it did in the book of Acts.
"And there arose on that day a great persecution against the church in Jerusalem, and they were all scattered throughout the regions of Judea and Samaria, except the apostles... Now those who were scattered went about preaching the word." (Acts 8:1, 4)
"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28)
So, conflicts and persecutions can be signs of what you didn't do correctly before the journey began. They can be the evidence of the right decision or choices that should have been pursued instead of the ones you are living with right now. They are a testimony of the paths, direction, or journey that should have been taken instead of the current ones. And sometimes conflicts and persecutions are reminders for both of you to sit down, review, or re-assess the situation honestly with God—both individually and collectively—and map out a way forward that is in line with God's purposes for your life.
If God agrees with your agreement, relationship, or partnership, He will rework it to be in line with His purposes so that both of you win and the relationship is sustained. However, if necessary, God will end the agreement or relationship and make you go your separate ways so that each one of you can fulfill what it is that God called you to do. If one was going to hinder the other, God sides with the one who is in line with His purposes, and by grace, He takes care of the other as well, for we are all God's children. Jesus Christ died for each one of us individually so that we can all experience His grace. And so, Abraham and Lot were separated.
"The Lord said to Abram, after Lot had separated from him, 'Lift up your eyes and look from the place where you are, northward and southward and eastward and westward, for all the land that you see I will give to you and to your offspring forever.'" (Genesis 13:14-15)
When Lot was captured for slavery, Abraham went back to rescue him and his family. Simply because you have been divinely separated does not mean that you shouldn't be there for each other. This happens in ministry a lot. When God separates someone from a ministry, they are often considered as being rebellious. The news most of the time is not well received by the leadership of the church they are departing from, and automatically enmity becomes the driver of their relationship. If you are divinely separated from someone, even in our everyday life, do not automatically think that there is something wrong with your relationship. Return to God in prayer and ask Him what is going on. If it is God pruning you in your relationship area, then embrace the process and handle it with grace too.
Separations are painful to the point that you wish the other bad luck or hold them in judgment, hoping they do not do well wherever they are going so that tomorrow you can say, "Aha! I knew it" when things fall apart for them. It would have been easy for Abraham to receive the news of Lot's capture in that way. It is easy for all of us to receive negative news about our former partners' bad situations and be happy about it. However, Abraham didn't. He went and rescued Lot and his family, fulfilling the command of love for his brother and let love lead in that situation.
You see, love is not just defined by works; it transcends time and space because that is who our God is. Our God is love, and it is His nature. So we have to internalize the spirit of love and let it become who we are every day because it is eternal. As Paul puts it:
"So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love." (1 Corinthians 13:13)
So, Abraham helped Lot.
In addition, you have to observe and be able to maintain your boundaries when you are dealing with post-conflict relationship situations. Abraham never took Lot back to stay with him. Lot returned to his hometown where he continued to stay with his family. This is the most difficult part as far as managing the post-conflict situation is concerned. Your calling and purposes should be able to guide you whether you should maintain the closure or not. If it gets hard to decide or you lack the wisdom to, ask God what you should do with the situation. In the case of Abraham, he let Lot stay in the city of Sodom and Gomorrah.
Furthermore, intercede or pray for your enemies or those that God divinely separates you from. When it was time for God to destroy the city of Sodom and Gomorrah, Abraham interceded for Lot in his conversations with God. In Abraham's eyes, he thought Lot was righteous enough for God not to destroy the two cities.
"Then Abraham drew near and said, 'Will you indeed sweep away the righteous with the wicked? ... Far be it from you to do such a thing, to put the righteous to death with the wicked, so that the righteous fare as the wicked! Far be that from you! Shall not the Judge of all the earth do what is just?'" (Genesis 18:23, 25)
However, in His mercies and grace, God determined that Lot’s righteousness was not enough to save the wicked cities; He would not compromise justice for Lot's sake alone. In contrast, the only reason God will spare the whole universe from final judgment is because of the One who is Jesus Christ. Jesus alone would offer Himself as the perfect living sacrifice for the whole world, becoming the path towards our salvation.
"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life." (John 3:16)
Seeing Lot as unable to stop the destruction of the cities, God sent the angels to save him and his entire family. So we have to pray for our enemies. Pray for those who have shaped our lives and yet we are not in contact with. You do not know what they are going through, but God knows. So pray for their safety, prosperity, and most importantly their salvation.
"But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you." (Matthew 5:44)
We have the whole eternity to live in heaven; part of living there will be sharing these individuals' stories and the independent journeys we took after being separated here on earth.
May God give you a new perspective about how you should deal with your relationships in the name of Jesus Christ.
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